New dawn, new day or so I hope....

I watch a show on OWN called  Masterclass where celebrities discuss the life lessons they have learned on this journey called life. The most recent one I watched featured Susan Sarandon and she had a very unique tattoo that said new dawn, new day and stated something to the effect that God willing we are given a new day and new opportunities.

I have a question. What is happiness? How does one a achieve it? I asked friends that have known me through various stages of my life to tell me how I have impacted them. I'm sure you are thinking, now why would be want or need to know this. Well, as we travel on our life journey we encounter many people. Some are a part of our life and then drift away for whatever reason and come back. I have been in therapy off and on since 2005. I've had some events that have left their make on me and at one point in my life, I was a very troubled man. I half assed began therapy, but as with most things once we started getting below the surface, I got scared and stopped participating in my own recovery. For years, it was easier to indulge my drug, alcohol and sexually addictions and  escape the life I had created rather than face my fears, trauma etc. 15 months ago, I started back and this time, I vowed to take it seriously and participate in making myself healthier, wiser and God willing a more peaceful person. So, my therapist asked me what do those I value and cherish feel/think about the man I am. Most of the responses have been like food for my hungry soul and they can in at just the right moment when I needed support the most.

I have lived a life if fear, afraid of being hurt, hurting someone, not being the man I wanted/desired to be. Afraid to take a risk, afraid to fail.  One week ago, I took a risk. A big risk in fact, I left everyone and everything I knew and moved 700 miles from Birmingham, Al to Houston, Tx. Yesterday was a difficult day for me and all I could think about before falling into a less than peaceful sleep was that I would have a new dawn and a new day to start again. The day didn't exactly turn out the way I wanted, but in life most don't. So my hope and prayer tonight will be a new dawn, a new day.