The final portion of this poem states... Be at peace with yourself, you are as important as the stars. For those that read my previous post, I explained how we never know what others think of us or the impact either negative or positive we make on them. There is an old saying that goes something like people come into or lives as either a blessing or a lesson. Sometimes, when we are living in our moment, we don't know what they are until time, distance and space shows us. For me and my outlook on life, I try to see everyone as a blessing. I used to ask God "why me?" and now I usually say why not me. My friends tell me frequently that I am one of the strongest people they know, that they are amazed when hearing my life journey that if they were me, they wouldn't, couldn't get out of bed. But everyday, I wake up and live. I'm fond of saying, like I have a choice. Seriously, do we have a choice to continue to survive? Yes, I could wallow in self pity and sadness or the way things have turned out, but why? What good would it do me? Nothing that has happened to me is worse that what happens to anyone in life. I was molested when I was an adolescent, yes I was beaten with a tire iron, yes my father left when I was a kid and refused to meet me as an adult.So what? These are facts, my truth. I have scars, but oddly enough the ones that are t visible are the ones that left the most damage to me. I see the scar across my forehead everyday of my life, it's become a source of courage for me. It reminds me that once upon a time, something unfortunate happened to me. I didn't die, I recovered, I thrived, I lived, but most importantly I forgave.
To forgive someone is at it's core, not about what someone else did to you, rather you loving yourself enough to say, that sucked but I've got to keep going forward. I have a circle of friends that support, encourage and love me. I was talking to one of these friends this past Saturday and bringing him up to speed on my life and a few setbacks I've encountered lately. He told me something that has resonated so deeply with me, I brought tears. You see, he and I dated for 2.5 years, we had one of the worst break ups I've ever had. But we reconnected last year and became amazingly close. We both were going thru rough times and needed support and unconditional love. He explained that he was impressed with the man I've become since our time together. That I went from being the guy with no friends to knowing everyone. To becoming the person that never meet a stranger. But it was this simple statement that gave me an a-ha moment. He said... You love yourself, you like the man you are. Wow! I'd not thought about that, but yes I do love myself. I'm not who I want to be, but sweet baby Jesus... I am not the man I used to be. With age comes wisdom or so I've been told. The changes I've made have been because I didn't want to be the guy afraid to live or love, I just wanted to in the immortal words of Nike... Just do it. So I get my heart broken, I'll survive, so I fail, at least I tried. Every person I know, have met, will meet has a story as unique as they are. My journey is about is trying, failing, learning, loving, appreciating, valuing and ultimately making myself the best I can be. So I will appreciate my uniqueness, continue to make and be at peace with myself. I am lucky that I have unconditional love, support and some pretty damn wise friends.
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